Wow

To say the least, my life has changed since 2009. I finished the credential program in December 2009, but have just been subbing since. I've been doing an easy long-term job, but am starting a more challenging one this week. It should be tough, but great for keeping up my teaching skills (I feel I've been getting rusty on pedagogy).

Gary and I split up in November last year. It was a long time coming (as in, since he was in Japan... so maybe a year) but it was still hard. I finally reached the point where I realized everything was too much and I needed to throw in the towel, too. I hesitate to write more since the internet is so public. Basically, I'm doing fine, but things are hard. The best parts are that I no longer feel like garbage, I like having my own place, and I get to change my name back to Finch. Yay! The bad parts are that I feel lame sometimes, it gets a little lonely, and I get tired of explaining myself. It comes with the territory, though, and I'm sure all of this will be part of my past soon enough.

I also got a dog about a year ago. She's such a great companion. It makes living alone much more bearable, especially since Gary took the cats. I have way too many pictures of her for it to be reasonable. Lord help us all if and when I have kids!

Penny near Santa Cruz, busy being a model :)

I wonder if my lack of blogging has anything to do with me spending less time on the computer. I stopped writing any sort of blog about the same time I got an iPhone... hmmmm... maybe they're connected. My contract with the iPhone is up in June. I'm not sure if I still want a smart phone or not. It would save so much money if I didn't have one, and I know I would be able to survive without one, I've just become so accustomed to it. I guess we'll see in June.

These last few weeks I've spent a fair amount of time visiting friends and family. I went to Soquel to visit my Uncle and his family. It was fun to see them, especially since I hadn't in nearly two years! Oy! I need to send them a thank-you card for the visit. It was awesome :).

Me and Penny near Santa Cruz

I then went to Vallejo the next week to visit Tracie and go to a Gala (think prom with a bartender). It was so much fun to see her again (again, I hadn't seen her in over a year).

Tracie, me, and Sparsha just before leaving for the gala

This last weekend I went down to Long Beach to see Janie. I figured it would be the last time I would be able to visit for some time (with school starting up for her and this new job starting up for me). It was definitely a good choice.

I LOVE this pic of me and Janie (and Penny) at the Long Beach dog beach

You know, since reading over my past blogs (however few of them there may be) I realize how happy I was those past years. It's easy to trick yourself or forget and think that things have always been as crummy as the last year. I truly was happy with Gary and then things just changed. I've been thinking about all the bad things; things that ranged from no big deal annoyances to big deal things that I just ignored. Talking about it with others has made me realize that everything wasn't always perfect. I just want to keep a clear head and not re-write history. I think it would be very easy to say that it was doomed from the start and just remember all the shitty things. But on the same token, you could say that things were so great that it's all just a huge mystery. There were great times, and there were terrible times. There were times that I'm so proud of myself and Gary and there were times where I don't ever want to remember what either of us said or did. That's just life, I suppose, and I need to remember that I really was happy. I can still be happy, and generally if I sit down and think about it I would tell you that I am happy now. I don't know that I am satisfied with how things are, but this gives me the motivation to strive for improvement. I want to create meaningful relationships with others, create art (crafty or otherwise), and I want to be a great teacher with an impacting career.

Not all of life's trials are fun or exciting, but they can all make you a better person. I think that I've learned a lot about myself, my morals and standards, and what I want out of life just in these past few months. I wouldn't mind if all this self-reflection and awareness hadn't come at the price it did, but we can't always control how life turns out. Just try to keep a clear head and be optimistic :).

another post! dang, I'm good :)

Today I had a very short but informative course. I enjoyed the class but I never really know what to do with credit/no credit courses. I try and do as much work and put as much effort into it as possible, but in the back of my mind I know that the course is pass or fail. It helps to keep me honest to take courses like this one because I remind myself to do my best so I'm a better teacher, not so that I get a grade. I'm a bit sad that the class was only two short sessions because I liked the instructor and the material was relevant. I suppose this is the nature of one unit classes.

Tonight I have a book club to go to which I am interested in, but I definitely did not finish the book. It was Elizabeth I by Allison Weir, a non-fiction biography. I loved the material of that book but reading the sucker was like pulling teeth! I finished about half the book. I take some comfort knowing that my mom also didn't get very far through the book and is currently watching the Elizabeth movie with Helen Mirin.

This week I've been working on my knit octopus. I'm very close to finishing and I'll post pictures a soon as it's done. Hopefully in a day or two :). I do have pictures of the brain slug I knit last week. The little guy is so cute! :):

I was pretty tired already and the brain slug didn't help

He got us both!

Oh! I do have some in-progress pictures of the octopus, but now it has many more legs:
Knitting helps me to reflect on things that are happening throughout the day. It gives me a time to digest new information and consider how I'll handle new situations. When I was reading the book in class to day it put people who knit during meetings in the middle, fairly negative, category. I have to agree with this - you should not knit when someone is instructing you or you are attending an arranged meeting. I have no problem with knitting when other people are around or even when talking with another person. This is only appropriate, though, when you are casually conversing, not when someone is telling you a problem or you are discussing something that requires your full attention. I know a lot of knitters would disagree with this but this is my opinion based on observations and my attitudes on etiquette.

Musings about bands and lyrics

Gary at the FFAF concert in Orangevale 2.7.9

While driving home today from work I was listening to a most excellent band called Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Gary turned me on to this band. Gary is pretty good at recommending music as he knows what I will like (usually). RJA was a little hard to get used to, but I find that I love their tunes. They remind me of Funeral for a Friend (another Gary recommendation) but with lyrics I can understand.

RJA's music is catchy and upbeat, but with enough rock in it that I'm not totally bored. The weirdest thing about their music is that the lead singer enunciates his words so clearly that I can understand nearly every word he says. I find this to be most unusual as most music I've heard (save for Disney music) is impossible to decipher. They tend to be a bit cliche in their lyrics, but most bands fall into that trap from time to time. I appreciate that I can comprehend what their meaning and intent are; I'm not sure if I'm terrible at decoding metaphor or if other bands have way obscure lyrics.

Speaking of obscure lyrics... I put RJA and FFAF on an "on-the-go" play list on my iPod (hence the reflection and comparison of bands - that and I'm really digging both bands in general right now). This made me realize how obscure the words some people choose can be. I feel that FFAF sometimes falls into the category of "too obscure," but I'm placated by their amazing guitarist so I usually don't even think about it. They could, however, be more cut and dry than I know because I don't think I can ever understand a thing their saying (do they mumble? Is it their accent which I can't hear when they're singing anyway?). On one song Gary looked up the lyrics so he could see what they were saying. Then, he decided that maybe it was about a homeless person based on one line entirely ('tin can in hand, waiting for God to come around'). I agree that this is the most probable explanation. It's nice to know that the person who wrote many of the lyrics for the band said himself that they are, "fucking obscure" and I am somewhat comforted by this.

In all, I find that both bands are highly enjoyable for different reasons. I feel that the vocalist is the most amazing feature of RJA and the lead guitarist is for FFAF. Both bands have a great overall sound and nothing is bad in either, but those two things out of each band win for me. Hmmm... when I think about it I really do like the vocalist for FFAF. He has a great quality to his voice that makes it pleasant to listen to the music. I suppose I'm just irked that I can't ever understand what he's saying.

Cat Post

I keep forgetting about the blog! Oh well, I'm sure things will be fine. I suppose I talk so much anyway that putting it down here would be pretty redundant for most.

Ok, one thing I always want to do is look at cute pictures of kitties. Since I happen to have two cute kitties and many pictures of them I'm going to post their pictures. Here it is: A cat post:

Many of these photos are a study of Maximo on things... He likes to lay on top of things.

Right now I'm student teaching at an elementary school in a first grade class. It's very interesting to work with such little kids and I'm still getting used to it. They always have a funny story and it's hard for me to not just listen to what they say (there's never enough time to hear them all!).

I'm pretty busy with school and work and other things so hopefully I'll post soon, but I know my own track record and things probably don't look so good. Anyhoo... until next time :).

Lipstick

Oops... so I forgot about the blog. Sorry. Good news, though: I was accepted to the credential program and have been in school for about 3 weeks. I love school :). Also, I got my camera charger that very day so I took many pictures of that cake I made for my mom:


I also had made a cake earlier that week (just for fun):

It's pretty much gone by this time, though. It was so cute!

I made some cupcakes recenty, but they weren't so cute. Tasty as heck, though! (no pictures for things that are so homely).

In other non-cake-related news I had a very fun summer spending time with family, friends, and Gary. I was able to go to Baltimore with my mom and we had a lot of fun together. I don't think we've ever spent so much time alone together before. I'm happy to know that we actually do get along for extended periods of time (not that I'm really that surprised, but it's nice to know).
Here we were after *gasp!* walking about a mile to Fell's point. A person who was supposed to help people know where the heck to spend their money was nice enough to help us out (I'm not sure who this person was but there were lots of people like her all over town... they looked very official). We did way too much to type about here so I won't even try. I can't even come close to Janie's blog prowess and her literary skills so I'll stick to my skill: brevity.

Our air conditioner broke at one point and so Gary and I did what all sane people would do: we bought a kiddie pool and made muchas margaritas!:
The air conditioner was fixed in about a week so we weren't suffering too much :).

I was also lucky enough to spend time with friends old and new. My friend, Tracie, from middle school and I happened to cross one another's path so we were able to spend quite a few happy times together. Here's a shot from her birthday party:
Tracie and her baby bro Michael are such wonderful people and I had fun with all the new people I met this past summer.

I've tried making sushi a few times this year. Here you can see Gary and Emily very patiently waiting while I took pictures. I need to make sushi again...
We went camping with Emily and Ryan. The campsite was wonderful after sunset, but during the day it was far too sunny for my taste. Gary and I are learning to be expert campers, though, so we'll do better next time. Currently we're proficient campers... working our way up. We loved spending time with Emily and Ryan and don't know if we would even bother camping with anyone else. They're great friends that we enjoy spending lots of time with in town and out of town. I'm definitely enjoying having my best friend as my neighbor. Here is a cute pic showing what a 'supportive' husband I have:
and another of our awesome friends:
On second thought, awesomely dorky might be more apropos. This is why we love them as much as we do :).

Later that same trip we all went to the Sierra Cat Haven. It was so freaking cool. Can you see how close those tigers are?!:
In other good news I'm still a dork:

Anyway... (can you tell I'm going through my pictures to help me remember everything? lol...)

My dad, Beans, and I went backpacking together and had a great time. I've never walked so far in my life but it was fun and beautiful. I mean, if Beans can do it, I can do it, right? Here is the one and only picture of both me and my dad:
A few other little things here and there, but I think I have the bulk of it done. I've let my camera battery die since this trip so I don't have anything from the last month.

So, without pictures: I started school and I love the education program. I feel like I've finally found what I'm meant to do because everything about this program just makes me happy :). Except the homework. Whatever, you can't win them all, right? I also celebrated my 22nd birthday and I had fun with family and some close friends. I even was able to see Melissa! It's fun to see her since she lives so far away.
Speaking of people who live far away, I was able to see my cousins yesterday and meet my cousin's baby for the first time! Chloe is very cute. I was happy to see them but sad that they'll still live so far away. Becky, however, is going to move closer so I hope to see much more of her next year. My favorite event of the evening was when Gary revealed to me that 4 year olds are liars. My cousin's kid wanted to play a game with him and they had clue out. Gary set the game up and tried to play, but then Kylan informed Gary that he didn't know how to read. Gary was so bummed. "Four year olds are liars! They said they knew how to play, but they don't even know how to read!". Lol... now he knows, though. Gary was very sweet and a fantastic husband. I'm so happy when he comes to these non-holiday family-type things because it gives me the opportunity to show him off :).

In knitting news, I've started some mittens. They may be mondo-mittens as I'm not sure I've guaged correctly, but at least they'll be pretty mondo-mittens, right?

On another note, I've been really into politics this year (relatively... especially compared to my interest in the past, which was not at all) and researching things that are up on the ballott. I feel empowered to know what's going on in our country and relish the opportunity to learn more about issues that affect my life and the progress of America. Go politics!

Well, that's all for now. Time to go to bed. Tomorrow is my long day so I'll need more sleep than I've currently allotted. Bummer.

I'm going to make a cake tonight. It's my mom's birthday and she's actually going to stay in town! Yay! She requested a very specific cake so hopefully it turns out how she envisioned it :). I made a TMNT cake for a friend's little boy, once. Hopefully it will turn out as good as that cake:

That was lots of fun (and time). Hopefully this next one turns out well. I'll try and post more pictures. On a side note: When, oh when, will my battery charger for my camera come?! So Lame!

Waiting...

I honestly don't know what to do with these credential people. I want to be patient, but I'm dying to register! They've stopped bugging me at work about when I'm going to change my schedule, but I really don't know.

Anyway, I made a bucket list recently (stuff you want to do before you die kind of stuff). I put lots of fun things on there and hope to accomplish them all. Some are contingent on owning a house (getting a dog, planting a garden, owning a house, etc.). Others, I could accomplish right now with a few bucks and/or time.
A few examples:

Get a facial
Ride a hot air baloon
Volunteer at an animal shelter
Knit a blanket
Make a quilt
Sew a dress I will actually wear
Get a toned body

Oh! The last one will be helped significantly by the push-up challenge here at work! I've been doing knee push ups (aka girly pushups) and my abs and arms hurt hecka bad! Hopefully the Wii fit will help out :).

In other news, last night Gary and I went to the Miss California pageant (3rd year in a row, baby!). All was well and we were only a few minutes late, but by then I was sooo hyper that I became rather annoying :(. Gary got peeved and I couldn't seem to stop. Why do I get so hyper anyway? Ohhhh.... maybe it was the cake. I made a chocolate cake that was delicious. I couldn't find my powdered sugar for the life of me so I got some from Ryan. Apparently my sugar was in the flower canister. Gary is such a weirdo sometimes :S. Anyhoo, I offered to give Em and Ryan their sugar back unused, but they said they would rather have their sugar back in the form of cake.

I don't really think the last part is going to help with the push up challenge. Hopefully I'll remember to post after the challenge on July 31 to tell all how it went :).

Ok, this sounds pretty much like a super ADD blog. Maybe it's because I thought that yesterday was Thursday so it feels like today should be Friday. What a bummer. I hope that at least Sunday feels like Monday. Then it'll feel like I'm playing hooky.

Well, I suppose I should go and warm up my lean pocket. They're God's work, they are. Gary doesn't appreciate them nearly as much as I do. Yesterday I shared my lean pocket bounty with him and he insulted it! Can you believe it? Off to eat...